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If My Dog Could Talk

bpawed pals dog dog talk

DOG: STILL HUNGRY
ME: You've had breakfast
DOG: WANT MORE BREAKFAST!
ME: You'll get fat
DOG: WHATS FAT?
ME: It's what happens when you eat too much food
DOG: FAT SOUNDS AWESOME! LETS GET FAT!!

DOG: THIS MORNING THE MAILMAN RUBBED MY BELLY
DOG: DID YOU TELL HIM TO DO THAT?
ME: I may have mentioned it
DOG: YOU REVEALED MY WEAKNESS TO MY GREATEST ENEMY
ME: He's not your enemy
DOG: IVE BEEN BETRAYED BY MY OWN BUTLER
ME: I'm not your butler!

DOG: WHERE ARE YOU?
ME: The grocery store
DOG: WHEN ARE YOU COMING BACK?
ME: Shortly
DOG: HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN GONE? IT FEELS LIKE FOREVER
ME: 13 minutes
DOG: I CANT REMEMBER WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE!

DOG: NEED TO GO OUTSIDE
ME: I'll be right down
DOG: NEED TO GO OUTSIDE
ME: I'm on my way downstairs now
DOG: NEED TO GO OUTSIDE
ME: One second
DOG: NEED MOP

ME: Where are you?
DOG: GOT OUT THE GATE
ME: Where are you?
DOG: CHASING SOME GUY ON A BIKESICLE
ME: Stop that now
DOG: I CANT! IM BATDOG

DOG: WHY YOU BUY FLEA SHAMPOO?
ME: Well...to get rid of your fleas
DOG: YOU CANT! I PROMISED JOHN, PAUL, RINGO, AND GEORGE THEY COULD STAY
ME: You named your fleas?
DOG: THET'RE THE FLEATLES
DOG: THEY WERE LIKE 'HELP. WE NEED SOMEBODY'

DOG: DO YOU THINK I COULD BE A POLICE DOG?
ME: No. I don't think you've got the nerve for that
DOG: MY NERVES ARE MADE OF STEEL
ME: Um! You jump at the sound of your own farts
DOG: THEY SNEAK UP ON ME

DOG: FOUND THE STICK
ME: Good girl! bring it back
DOG: DIDN'T FIND THE ONE YOU THREW. FOUND A BIGGER ONE
ME: Where?
DOG: IT WAS NEXT TO AN OLD GUY SITTING ON A BENCH
ME: Put it back

The Crazy Dog Lady



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  • Abby on

    Bahahahahaha!!!!!


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